CHENEY SURGERY POSTPONES TRIP TO HELL
Associated Press - Former Vice President Dick Cheney announced Wednesday he was cancelling a date with the Devil, after successful surgery to implant a heart-pump.
"I've been experiencing increasing congestive heart failure, but this new device they've put in my chest has me feeling a lot better," Cheney said in a written statement. "Of course, Lucifer and I made a deal long ago that I am to go straight to Hell upon my death, and burn for all eternity. But thanks to the ingenuity of my surgeons at the Mayo Clinic, that won't be happening for a while yet."
The former vice president, 69, has a long history of heart trouble. He suffered a heart attack earlier this year, his fifth since the age of 37.
Cheney also has made a long career of doing the Devil's work on earth. His distortion and fabrication of intelligence data on Saddam Hussein's possession of weapons of mass destruction to justify the Iraq War in 2003 is but one of a long list of diabolical deeds.
Now, some are attributing the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico to his handiwork. See an explanation here: http://therealnews.com/t2/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=31&Itemid=74&jumival=5163
AP contacted Lucifer for comment on this latest development. In an e-mail response, the Prince of
Darkness said he congratulates Cheney on his successful surgery and hopes he's recuperating well.
"I'm in no hurry to bring the former Vice President to Hell," Lucifer wrote.
,
"In fact, I'm anxious to keep him alive a while longer, so he can finish doing my evil bidding. However, Mr. Cheney should be aware that five minutes after he's dead, he's coming here for a very long stay."
No word yet on when Cheney will be released from hospital.
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Posted by: Swetha | October 02, 2010 at 06:02 AM