HELEN THOMAS: EVERYONE GET THE HELL OUT!!!!

   THE HELEN THOMAS BLOG

  Helen Thomas's thoughts on politics, both National and International

   Hey! Yeah, this means you ... Im only gonna say this once.

   I feel the need to clarify my remarks from the other day about how the Israelis should get the hell out of Palestine and go back to Germany and to Poland and to America.. Read all about it here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/06/07/AR2010060701966.html

  Watch and listen to my comments here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aeqb8h0I-Bg

   I didn't mean it. It didn't come out right. I misspoke myself. Christ Almighty, can't an 89-year-old woman misspeak herself every so bloody often? Jesus!!! If all the presidents I've covered can misspeak themselves, then so can I, goddamnit!! Jeez, you would think Bill Clinton never misspoke himself, or something.

   In the interests of being a fair and objective reporter, what I meant to say was that EVERYBODY should get the hell out of Palestine. That's right. You heard me. Everyone. That includes the Jews AND the Palestinians. All of you ... CLEAR THE HELL OUT!!! Thats the only way we are gonna put a stop to all this shit!!! Empty out the entire Middle East, I say!!!!

   Fact is, you're all interlopers. The Philistines were there before the whole goddamned lot of you, and if there were any Philistines left I'd say "Palestine for the Philistines!"

   Wait a minute. The Philistines invaded Palestine from Crete and Greece. So, if there were any Philistines left I'd tell the whole damned lot of them to get lost, too. You hear me, Philistines??? Fuck right off and go back to Greece where you all came from, and leave Palestine to the Canaanites.

    OK, so now that leaves America. As far as I am concerned everybody who is not a real American can goddamned well clear out, too. And you know what that means. Everybody pack your fuckin bags and get the hell out, except the Indians. And I dont mean Indians from India. They can all screw off, too. I mean the real Indians. That means the Redskins.No, no , no!! Not the Washington Redskins ... the REAL Redskins. You know! The ones that dance around fires and scalp people. Jesus Christ!!!!

   So, that means every Limey, Paddy, Kraut, Chinaman, Frog, Wop, Spic, Russky and Darkie has gotta go back where he came from. Next time I show up here all I wanna see is a buncha Tontos living in teepees and smokin heap big peacepipes.

   OK, wait a minute. I just read that the Indians came from somewhere else, too. Seems they crossed the land bridge that is now the Bering Strait about 20 thousand goddamned years ago. Bloody hell!!! That means to hell with the whole damned lot of you!!! Get the hell out!!!

   Oh, and by the way, all you Israelis I told to go back to America. You gotta pack your shit back up and go back to ... er,  hey wait a minute ...

   Look, why dont we just forget the whole thing. Just give me my job back and no-one gets hurt.

  

Comments

[MediaMugShot]

Funny. It's a shame that an 89-year-old veteran reporter would get the heck beaten out of her for off-the-cuff comments.

[Emmett Shane]

Thanks for your comment. You're right, of course. It's sad that someone with as illustrious a career as Helen Thomas has to go out this way. But quite ironic that after a lifetime covering politics, such an impolitic statement would come out of her mouth.

[John Keating]

You've captured her voice nicely. It's a funny post, but yes, it is a sad end to a colourful career.