By now, we've all seen the infamous Nike ad with the voice of Tiger Woods' dead father
asking him what he was thinking, and what he's learned. However, perhaps you've been living naked in a driftwood hut on the west coast of the Aleutian Islands for the past year, eating only seaweed, with only a blind sea-otter for companionship. Maybe, just maybe, you know nothing of the Woods adultery scandal, and haven't seen the ad in question. If so, here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NTRvlrP2NU&feature=player_embedded
OK, so what was Tiger thinking? And did he learn anything? Here's his answer:
Dad, you asked me what I was thinking. Well, all I ever wanted was to be just like you, but even bigger and better. I wanted to take what you taught me and be the best golfer in the world. But golf wasn't the only game played with a stick that you were great at. You were also a champion cheater and philanderer. After all, didn't you meet my mom in Thailand while you were still married to your ex-wife? And didn't you step out on mommy like crazy in all the years you were married to her? Well, I'm just proof that the golf ball doesn't fall too far from the flag(or whatever that saying is). And as I outstripped you in golf, I also surpassed you in sex. Look at it this way, Dad. You had the morals of a rutting elephant seal. But I've gone you one better simply by having no morals at all.
Dad, I've learned a lot of things from all this, but the biggest thing by far is this: sex may be fleeting, but sexts are forever. Next affair I have, no more sexting - you have my word on that!
Well, that's about it, Dad. This ad campaign's only just getting started, so I'm sure we'll talk again.
Sincerely,
Your son
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