Ladies and Gentlemen, drumroll please.
Believe it or not, this is 21st Century Schizoidman's 100th post. Not sure what direction this blog will take in the new year, but sincere thanks to everyone who's read it, and reacted to it throughout 2009. People often ask me what I'm up to with this thing, and I tell them I do it primarily to make readers laugh. If my posts don't make you laugh at least once - albeit inwardly - then I consider them an abject failure. So , if you haven't laughed yet, keep reading ... it just might happen one of these days.
By the way, thanks to Cheru Jackson and his fantastic website, alphainventions.com, for steering so many page views my way. If you're a blogger I strongly recommend logging on to Cheru's site and putting your blog on it. You'll be amazed at what happens next.
Normally I bash this thing out in the privacy of my den at home, but right now, I'm sitting in the Porter Airlines departure lounge at Toronto City Centre Airport, waiting for a flight to New York City with my wife, hoping nobody comes to check my underwear. What better moment to reflect on the year that's past and do what many of my journalist colleagues do at this time of year ... make totally groundless predictions about what will happen in the new year.
Prediction 1
2009 saw an explosion of conspiracy theories about Barack Obama's actual birthplace. I predict that, in light of recent events at Detroit Metro Airport, a new theory will arise among right-wingers that Obama was born not in Kenya, but in Nigeria, and that he travels on Air Force 1 with high-powered explosives sewn into his pants, just waiting for the right moment to detonate his underwear.
Prediction 2
The US media will take Prediction 1 seriously and report it as if those who believe this theory aren't complete wackjobs.
Prediction 3
The US health-care debate will escalate when Republicans in the Senate actually come out and admit that they oppose the proposed reform package because "the poor are lazy bastards who deserve to die." Blue Dog Democrats will attempt to compromise by declaring "yes, the poor are lazy and certainly deserve to die, but we should certainly pay part of their funeral expenses." Obama will sign the resulting legislation saying it's " not everything I hoped for, but an historic step forward for America."
Prediction 3
Tiger Woods will go into rehab for sex addiction, and meet his next wife there. He will also meet several dozen of his future mistresses there.
Prediction 4
Prime Minister Stephen Harper wowed Canadians with his piano-playing and singing prowess at a surprise concert appearance in 2009. There will be yet another federal election in Canada but Harper will again fail to win a majority. He will be forced out of office by a coalition of Liberals and NDPers, but will gain even greater fame by becoming a contestant on Canadian Idol.
If you have any predictions please feel free to comment.
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Posted by: オテモヤン | January 23, 2010 at 03:23 AM